So here I am attempting to do this…

This is going to me my daily journal of my thoughts. As if anyone even cared, right? Well I don’t care what you think I am doing this for me and not for you. I need to do this to let out my thoughts. I have been struggling with my weight for about…. all my life lol. I don’t know how to motivate myself how to just stop eating so much. What am I doing wrong? Do I not have the certain push or is it that I just don’t want to do it? It’s not that I don’t want to do it because I really do but why can’t I make myself do it? I can’t give myself excuses anymore. It’s pathetic everyone has the option to say no to food, it’s up to us to take the challenge. Now the only problem is who is willing to take on the challenge? Apparently I am not cause I have not been able to lose weight yet.  Everyone knows how to eat healthy and how not to eat in a healthy manner. But with all this glutenous yet delicious food surrounding us, how is it possible to say no to it when it tastes so good? Goals people! That is the key. Not big goals, first I am going to start off with mini goals hopefully that will encourage me to keep on going. I need to go grocery shopping first. This is my set plan though…
During the week - eat healthy
Weekends- eat whatever you want but don’t exceed yourself.
With this I feel like I am going to eat healthy but not suffer in the process I still get to eat the food that I want but not every day. You see where I’m going here? I think you do. 

I don’t have a goal weight just yet first I want to start off by setting myself a way of life. Eat a certain way during the week and then the weekend go out and eat whatever I like… I’m not going to take advantage though LIMIT IS KEY. 
Now about exercise I first need to get a job. Once I know my schedule at work I’ll then be able to know what time time I can fit exercising in my day. Though I do want to do the same basis of excersing as my food goal. 
During the week - exercise for an hour
Weekend - No exercising.
I’m going to think of it as school or work. During the week you suffer during the weekend you have fun. I’m going to wrap my wind around that basis. 

I am also not going to think about all the negative things that pop into my head. When I think of negative things, for example how horrible my food is going to  taste, that my friend is not going to do me any good it’s just going to make me want to give up. You always have to think of the positive. The positive outcome of this whole thing, once that is memorized in my brain I think I can do it. 
Another thing… I can’t give up my mini goals. At first I am going to try it for two weeks. I can’t be discouraged. I have six months to do this and god damn it I am going to do this. It’s going to suck I know I know. Think about it though. What will food do to me? What is stuffing myself going do for me? Doing this for a while and feeling better about myself I think that will be better for me. 
Maybe this will help me: During the week fattening food in my mind is going to be visualized as a nasty piece of fat getting stuck on the side of my stomach making me fatter and disgusting. 
That can work.
For the mean time I am going to go back to watching my movie and not eating that much today. I’ll try to keep up with this blog when I can hopefully. 
Bye.